Saturday, April 28, 2018

A beginners guide to a fly fishing life

On occasion (somewhere in my past) while talking to new anglers I have exaggerated the difficulty of fly fishing.  I say difficult because that's what I was told when I decided to switch from spinning and bait to fly fishing.

At this time of my life I've decided that I need to make amends for all my past sins and what could possibly be a bigger sin then exaggeration to our fishing brethren?

1.  It really takes no special skill to cast a fly. Like Hank Patterson says, just blast away. You need to let the fish know you're there.

2.  You will, however need the most expensive rod and reel you can afford.  Even fish recognize good tackle and will undoubtedly be charmed by your use of said tackle.

3.  Without a doubt you should learn to tie your owns flies. I suggest you buy somewhere in the area of $800 on a name brand vise and materials. Over your lifetime of fly fishing you can save as much as $1.25 or so for a cup of coffee.

4.  It's perfectly okay when your fishing partner catches a small fish, to point to his crotch and loudly make comparisons to his...well, you know.

5.  Start writing a blog.  You'll be the envy of all fishermen when you post pictures of every fish you catch, share every excuse you've ever used when you don't catch fish and will undoubted end up being a Pro Staff for every company selling everything from coolers to dental floss.

6.  Quit responding to comments on said blog.  You're famous and above all that.

7.  It's perfectly okay to fly fish with worms and salmon eggs as long as you don't get caught.

8.  It's vitally important to only be seen on big name destination rivers.  If your favorite stream is small and brushy, go at night where you can't be recognized.

9.  Only go fishing with someone who's a worse fisherman than you.  I can't stress how important your reputation is, especially if the lousy fisherman out fishes you.  Oh, and don't ever let anyone know you've gotten skunked!

10.  Whatever you do, stay away from fishermen who always catch fish, never fall in the water, never hook themselves in the back of the head or arrive at their destination without their fly rod, reel or wading boots.

There, I feel better!